"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. RTB and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
I love love love my Man
It's sad when someone (S.E.T) holds on to something that was never there to began with. When someone lies to themselves believing they have something because that is what they want.some people are just not meant to be loved. N.M never loved them or would never have walked away. R.B. Never did because he says it all the time. Just felt bad for that person then they got preGo so he felt for once he had to do the right thing. He put a 10,000 dollar ring on her finger to make her feel like she was worth more than poo. Bad news she never was. He found out and didn't know how to walk away. When it happened he felt so lifted, his soul was finally happy. He lost all anger . It was amazing ( so he says).
He has been telling me that his favorite quote is : "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
He says now he feels complete because he can actually do so. I love you R.T.B.
If someone would like to correct all of my grammar problems please do so. I am looking for an editor. Someone who understands excatly what I am saying but all they have to fall back on is an education teaching. learn life skills and get back to me ?
love ,
The always happy hippie !
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Future Husband of Mine !
Dear, RTB
Future Husband Of Mine
Having your love has been the best thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm thankful to have you in my life. You are perfect, everything about you, everything you do seems so flawless. I feel so loved, I feel all I've longed to feel. I've told you many times already and I will continue to always let you know.
Just experiencing life with you is a gift I could hardly contain. You bring out the goodness in me. You've been wonderful to me, to my family.
That feeling that I get is overwhelming every time that I get to see your face. As the days go by my feelings for you are continuously growing deeper and much more stronger.
Damn just thinking about seeing your smile, I'm getting butterflies:P you are only two rooms away with out little love child.
Babe, you've said all you want to do is make me happy..well, you have already achieved that. By you being you, showing me your love and by being so open with your feelings. You truly are my dream come true.You are more than I've ever imagined a man to be and then some. I love that you are so full of life, so full of love, someone with integrity, truth, affection, wisdom, and all that other good stuff.
The strength that I see in you, The very strength you show.A plus being a romantic. ( in your own little way) peace Lily, card, love notes, winks... Thrifting. We both share and respect each others values and beliefs and most of all the path that were on. Babe, your great, your awesome, and your so damn gorgeous and fine with a great personality to top it off. Truly I never thought I'd be so lucky in finding someone as wonderful as you are.
I've enjoyed our many conversations we've had thus far. You've been nothing but great. You've helped me come out of my shell and I've noticed the many changes. I feel comfortable to open up and share with you my feelings, my joys, my pains, my HEART!
I love writing letters to you because for me its my way of truly expressing my love, my devotion I have from deep inside. I only want to speak words of truth that come from my heart..
It's like I've known you for a lifetime and I honestly can't imagine life without you.
YOU...THIS...here is where I am meant to be! you are what my entire life has led up to.
You are my very best bestest friend, my lover, my protector, my teacher, my absolute soul mate, and my sons father !!!
I've never before felt so connected to a person as I feel being with you.
Which brings me to say: it's true that we meet up with a few wrong people before we meet the right one, just so we would be able to appreciate and understand each others *worth*. So very true.
I'm thankful for meeting you, for this love that we share.
How we met, where we met, the first phone call, the first letter, everything you said, like everything was put into place and it all made sense. Instantly you've restored what I thought I lost and would never find again. You became my light and babe you were so very bright! My new found hope, my inspiration to keep on and keep going.
I've been through more than a few unhealthy damaging relationships...and how with each time I felt as though I've lost yet another piece of me. I've taken every stone, every rock, every stick, every log thrown at me, the verbal, physical, even emotional garbage that came with them...I would take and keep all within, hurting only myself for that burden I decided to carry and drag along. I've never known a way to let it go.
You've been there for me since day one never once judging me or the past I've lived nor the mistakes I've made. You've been more than understanding and so very patient.
In all that you are, in all that you've helped me see an the beauty of it all, of all you've said and continue to tell me, I'M GRATEFUL, I'M THANKFUL!
You've proved to me what true love is, how it feels and should always be felt. Your right babe, Love does not hurt and it should never have to.
I ask that you continue your patience.
I have found the courage to do just that and be freed. These are lessons meant only for me to learn from, to prepare me, make me stronger and keep me striving to be all that I know I can be. Cause baby we both deserve a love such as this, this happiness, this togetherness. The many beautiful feelings we've come to know.
I have so much love to give to you, so much more to share. I want to live the rest of my life with you and watch you grow old by my side. I never want to be without you for even one day....
You remember that time back in KLR we were sitting there listening to stuck on you. .We sat there listening to that song over and over again . smiling as we gazed at each other, laughing and I was doing my crazy dance.
You tell me time and time again that I'm your good thing...
Well you know what babe?
Yes I am and you know what?
"BABY YOUR MY GOOD THING"
And I'm never gonna let you go. I am so Stuck on you
Yours now and forever,
Happy Hippie
Future Husband Of Mine
Having your love has been the best thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm thankful to have you in my life. You are perfect, everything about you, everything you do seems so flawless. I feel so loved, I feel all I've longed to feel. I've told you many times already and I will continue to always let you know.
Just experiencing life with you is a gift I could hardly contain. You bring out the goodness in me. You've been wonderful to me, to my family.
That feeling that I get is overwhelming every time that I get to see your face. As the days go by my feelings for you are continuously growing deeper and much more stronger.
Damn just thinking about seeing your smile, I'm getting butterflies:P you are only two rooms away with out little love child.
Babe, you've said all you want to do is make me happy..well, you have already achieved that. By you being you, showing me your love and by being so open with your feelings. You truly are my dream come true.You are more than I've ever imagined a man to be and then some. I love that you are so full of life, so full of love, someone with integrity, truth, affection, wisdom, and all that other good stuff.
The strength that I see in you, The very strength you show.A plus being a romantic. ( in your own little way) peace Lily, card, love notes, winks... Thrifting. We both share and respect each others values and beliefs and most of all the path that were on. Babe, your great, your awesome, and your so damn gorgeous and fine with a great personality to top it off. Truly I never thought I'd be so lucky in finding someone as wonderful as you are.
I've enjoyed our many conversations we've had thus far. You've been nothing but great. You've helped me come out of my shell and I've noticed the many changes. I feel comfortable to open up and share with you my feelings, my joys, my pains, my HEART!
I love writing letters to you because for me its my way of truly expressing my love, my devotion I have from deep inside. I only want to speak words of truth that come from my heart..
It's like I've known you for a lifetime and I honestly can't imagine life without you.
YOU...THIS...here is where I am meant to be! you are what my entire life has led up to.
You are my very best bestest friend, my lover, my protector, my teacher, my absolute soul mate, and my sons father !!!
I've never before felt so connected to a person as I feel being with you.
Which brings me to say: it's true that we meet up with a few wrong people before we meet the right one, just so we would be able to appreciate and understand each others *worth*. So very true.
I'm thankful for meeting you, for this love that we share.
How we met, where we met, the first phone call, the first letter, everything you said, like everything was put into place and it all made sense. Instantly you've restored what I thought I lost and would never find again. You became my light and babe you were so very bright! My new found hope, my inspiration to keep on and keep going.
I've been through more than a few unhealthy damaging relationships...and how with each time I felt as though I've lost yet another piece of me. I've taken every stone, every rock, every stick, every log thrown at me, the verbal, physical, even emotional garbage that came with them...I would take and keep all within, hurting only myself for that burden I decided to carry and drag along. I've never known a way to let it go.
You've been there for me since day one never once judging me or the past I've lived nor the mistakes I've made. You've been more than understanding and so very patient.
In all that you are, in all that you've helped me see an the beauty of it all, of all you've said and continue to tell me, I'M GRATEFUL, I'M THANKFUL!
You've proved to me what true love is, how it feels and should always be felt. Your right babe, Love does not hurt and it should never have to.
I ask that you continue your patience.
I have found the courage to do just that and be freed. These are lessons meant only for me to learn from, to prepare me, make me stronger and keep me striving to be all that I know I can be. Cause baby we both deserve a love such as this, this happiness, this togetherness. The many beautiful feelings we've come to know.
I have so much love to give to you, so much more to share. I want to live the rest of my life with you and watch you grow old by my side. I never want to be without you for even one day....
You remember that time back in KLR we were sitting there listening to stuck on you. .We sat there listening to that song over and over again . smiling as we gazed at each other, laughing and I was doing my crazy dance.
You tell me time and time again that I'm your good thing...
Well you know what babe?
Yes I am and you know what?
"BABY YOUR MY GOOD THING"
And I'm never gonna let you go. I am so Stuck on you
Yours now and forever,
Happy Hippie
Our beautiful days in our neighborhood.
Park Square Cellar !!!
Martin Meadow Mojito w/ blueberries, Turnwood Gimlet , Palma Glade Cocktail, Big and Rich, Jason Marz, Citrus smoked salmon with cerme fresh, a yummy burger with awesome tots, and a little DMB !
 |
I came home to a beautiful Peace Lily with a card just to thank me for being me !
What a wonderful time !
Kisses ,
Happy Hippie
Monday, May 9, 2011
Ry you amaze me !
RTB,
How is it possible to love you more and more everyday ? I sit and think while you are asleep thinking was he made for me . The answer i come to each and every time is YES ! We both had to go through and deal with people that we never wish we had to. But baby without the bad hateful relationships we would not know us. LOVE ..... this is how its supposed to be. Our connection is like nothing before. You tell me this often now i know its true. In fact I have always known its true , but with each day and each kiss each note each smile each wink and each UMPH .. You Ryan T Bergers are truly amazing. I am so happy and i feel truly blessed that i will soon be Mrs. Bergers ! 6 months , 1 day , 17 hours , 18 mins, and 56 seconds until that day.
I love the love that we share Ryan. Its so beautiful . And yes I have tears in my eyes thinking of how happy we are. It makes me feel so good for us to bring up our kids in a home full of love . The way they look at us when you kiss me on my nose . Or the way they look at us when i am cooking dinner and you just wrap your arms around me. James is the best , it means so much to me the things that come out of his mouth…. Like how I make his world a happier place . That night when he was telling me how happy he is that I am going to be his step mom and how Jasmine and Jonah and I make us a full happy family. I never could have imagined Ryan this is no fairy tale . This is our tale and it has a happy beginning and no ending.
Our love is a journey , Starting at forever ending at never.
I love you sweets !
Love Always and forever your butterfly !
Leiko Renee Munford- Bergers
Love Always and forever your butterfly !
Leiko Renee Munford- Bergers
words of wisdom
Perfect handmade cards, Rum cake with Pecans, Fresh picked flowers, ribbon bracelets, sangria , photo shoots, peacock feathers, big hats, a perfect baby boy , A happy big girl, love making, pillow talk , lots of quotes, Eskimo kisses, fresh baked cookies, good friends , new friends , words of love, chalk walls , hair cuts, hockey games, boat rides , sea sides , my perfect Man , belly laughs, baby smiles, happy family, true love !
my last few days in a nut shell
LOVE ,
Happy Hippie
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Dear Jack and James ,
Hello Boys,
Because of you I can Hear Happy Mothers day.. Ring through my ears as i walk in at 11 pm from a little party my friends had. James you have been by far the best kid i have every loved .... other than jasmine and jonah. You are the best kid ever and i can only pray that my son can be half the kid you are. You alone have given me hope . i know that at 8 years old this maybe a little deep for you but take from what i wrote to jonah as if it were to you and jack.
YOU kids are the best little people ever . Thank you so much for keeping my world a happier place.
Love Always,
koko " mAMa Koko
Because of you I can Hear Happy Mothers day.. Ring through my ears as i walk in at 11 pm from a little party my friends had. James you have been by far the best kid i have every loved .... other than jasmine and jonah. You are the best kid ever and i can only pray that my son can be half the kid you are. You alone have given me hope . i know that at 8 years old this maybe a little deep for you but take from what i wrote to jonah as if it were to you and jack.
YOU kids are the best little people ever . Thank you so much for keeping my world a happier place.
Love Always,
koko " mAMa Koko
Dear Jonah Asher,
Jonah Asher ,
You’re only one month old, and at this point in your life you can’t read, much less understand what I’m going to try to tell you in this letter. But I’ve been thinking a lot about the life that you have ahead of you, about my life so far as I reflect on what I’ve learned, and about my role as your mom in trying to prepare you for the trials that you will face in the coming years.
You won’t be able to understand this letter today, but someday, when you’re ready, I hope you will find some wisdom and value in what I share with you.
You are young, and life has yet to take its toll on you, to throw disappointments and heartaches and loneliness and struggles and pain into your path. You have not been worn down yet by long hours of thankless work, by the slings and arrows of everyday life.
For this, be thankful. You are at a wonderful stage of life. You have many wonderful stages of life still to come, but they are not without their costs and perils.
I hope to help you along your path by sharing some of the best of what I’ve learned. As with any advice, take it with a grain of salt. What works for me might not work for you.
Life Can Be Cruel
There will be people in your life who won’t be very nice. They’ll tease you because you’re different, or for no good reason. They might try to bully you or hurt you.
There’s not much you can do about these people except to learn to deal with them, and learn to choose friends who are kind to you, who actually care about you, who make you feel good about yourself. When you find friends like this, hold on to them, treasure them, spend time with them, be kind to them, love them.
There will be times when you are met with disappointment instead of success. Life won’t always turn out the way you want. This is just another thing you’ll have to learn to deal with. But instead of letting these things get you down, push on. Accept disappointment and learn to persevere, to pursue your dreams despite pitfalls. Learn to turn negatives into positives, and you’ll do much better in life.
You will also face heartbreak and abandonment by those you love. I hope you don’t have to face this too much, but it happens. Again, not much you can do but to heal, and to move on with your life. Let these pains become stepping stones to better things in life, and learn to use them to make you stronger.
But Be Open to Life Anyway
Yes, you’ll find cruelty and suffering in your journey through life … but don’t let that close you to new things. Don’t retreat from life, don’t hide or wall yourself off. Be open to new things, new experiences, new people.
You might get your heart broken 10 times, but find the most wonderful woman the 11th time. If you shut yourself off from love, you’ll miss out on that woman, and the happiest times of your life.
You might get teased and bullied and hurt by people you meet … and then after meeting dozens of jerks, find a true friend. If you close yourself off to new people, and don’t open your heart to them, you’ll avoid pain … but also lose out on meeting some incredible people, who will be there during the toughest times of your life and create some of the best times of your life.
You will fail many times but if you allow that to stop you from trying, you will miss out on the amazing feeling of success once you reach new heights with your accomplishments. Failure is a stepping stone to success.
Life Isn’t a Competition
You will meet many people who will try to outdo you, in school, in college, at work, even at home having two half brothers. They’ll try to have nicer cars, bigger houses, nicer clothes, cooler things, better relationships. To them, life is a competition — they have to do better than others to be happy.
Here’s a secret: life isn’t a competition. It’s a journey. If you spend that journey always trying to impress others, to outdo others, you’re wasting your journey. Instead, learn to enjoy the journey. Make it a journey of happiness, of constant learning, of continual improvement, of love.
Don’t worry about having a nicer car or house or anything material, or even a better-paying job. None of that matters at all and none of it will make you happier. You’ll get these things and then only want more. Instead, learn to be satisfied with having enough — and then use the time you would have wasted trying to earn money to buy those things … use that time doing things you love.
Find your passion, and pursue it doggedly. Don’t settle for a job that pays the bills. Life is too short to waste on a job you hate.
Love Should Be Your Rule
If there’s a single word you should live your life by, it should be this: Love. It might sound corny, I know … but trust me, there’s no better rule in life.
Some would live by the rule of success. Their lives will be stressful, unhappy and shallow.
Others would live by the rule of selfishness — putting their needs above those of others. They will live lonely lives, and will also be unhappy.
Still others will live by the rule of righteousness — trying to show the right path, and admonishing anyone who doesn’t live by that path. They are concerned with others, but in a negative way, and in the end will only have their own righteousness to live with, and that’s a horrible companion.
Live your life by the rule of love. Love your spouse, your children, me and your dad and your friends, with all of your heart. Give to us what they need, and show us not cruelty or disapproval or coldness or disappointment, but only love. Open your soul to us.
Love not only your loved ones, but your neighbors … your coworkers … strangers … your brothers and sisters in humanity. Offer anyone you meet a smile, a kind word, a kind gesture, a helping hand.
Love not only neighbors and strangers … but your enemy. The person who is cruelest to you, who has been unkind to you … love him. He is a tortured soul, and most in need of your love. I have learned this Jonah just within this past year.
And most of all, love yourself. While others may criticize you, learn not to be so hard on yourself, to think that you’re ugly or dumb or unworthy of love … but to think instead that you are a wonderful human being, worthy of happiness and love … and learn to love yourself for who you are.
These are some things that your grandparents have taught me. I hope and pray that I can give to you half the wisdom they have given to me. When growing you buddy I never really had much. All my friends had much more than I did when it came to worldly things. But I had self love and a true happiness that nothing could ever take from me . In that way I was and am rich. The older I have gotten the more I realize this. All the things my parents kept me from and could not provide all made me this wonderfully happy mother today.
I have been through so many things in the past 8 years . It has not been easy being a single mother with your sister. I want for you to always be around for her and love her no matter what. You are Jasmines family . Do not let anyone or anything change that. She will always need us. I know that maybe asking a lot but that is the one thing I will ask of you . If heaven forbid something happens to me. Make sure your sister is safe and happy. I gave you both life and you both mean the world to me .
Finally, know that I love you and always will. You are starting out on a weird, scary, daunting, but ultimately incredibly wonderful journey, and I will be here for you when I can. Godspeed.
You’re only one month old, and at this point in your life you can’t read, much less understand what I’m going to try to tell you in this letter. But I’ve been thinking a lot about the life that you have ahead of you, about my life so far as I reflect on what I’ve learned, and about my role as your mom in trying to prepare you for the trials that you will face in the coming years.
You won’t be able to understand this letter today, but someday, when you’re ready, I hope you will find some wisdom and value in what I share with you.
You are young, and life has yet to take its toll on you, to throw disappointments and heartaches and loneliness and struggles and pain into your path. You have not been worn down yet by long hours of thankless work, by the slings and arrows of everyday life.
For this, be thankful. You are at a wonderful stage of life. You have many wonderful stages of life still to come, but they are not without their costs and perils.
I hope to help you along your path by sharing some of the best of what I’ve learned. As with any advice, take it with a grain of salt. What works for me might not work for you.
Life Can Be Cruel
There will be people in your life who won’t be very nice. They’ll tease you because you’re different, or for no good reason. They might try to bully you or hurt you.
There’s not much you can do about these people except to learn to deal with them, and learn to choose friends who are kind to you, who actually care about you, who make you feel good about yourself. When you find friends like this, hold on to them, treasure them, spend time with them, be kind to them, love them.
There will be times when you are met with disappointment instead of success. Life won’t always turn out the way you want. This is just another thing you’ll have to learn to deal with. But instead of letting these things get you down, push on. Accept disappointment and learn to persevere, to pursue your dreams despite pitfalls. Learn to turn negatives into positives, and you’ll do much better in life.
You will also face heartbreak and abandonment by those you love. I hope you don’t have to face this too much, but it happens. Again, not much you can do but to heal, and to move on with your life. Let these pains become stepping stones to better things in life, and learn to use them to make you stronger.
But Be Open to Life Anyway
Yes, you’ll find cruelty and suffering in your journey through life … but don’t let that close you to new things. Don’t retreat from life, don’t hide or wall yourself off. Be open to new things, new experiences, new people.
You might get your heart broken 10 times, but find the most wonderful woman the 11th time. If you shut yourself off from love, you’ll miss out on that woman, and the happiest times of your life.
You might get teased and bullied and hurt by people you meet … and then after meeting dozens of jerks, find a true friend. If you close yourself off to new people, and don’t open your heart to them, you’ll avoid pain … but also lose out on meeting some incredible people, who will be there during the toughest times of your life and create some of the best times of your life.
You will fail many times but if you allow that to stop you from trying, you will miss out on the amazing feeling of success once you reach new heights with your accomplishments. Failure is a stepping stone to success.
Life Isn’t a Competition
You will meet many people who will try to outdo you, in school, in college, at work, even at home having two half brothers. They’ll try to have nicer cars, bigger houses, nicer clothes, cooler things, better relationships. To them, life is a competition — they have to do better than others to be happy.
Here’s a secret: life isn’t a competition. It’s a journey. If you spend that journey always trying to impress others, to outdo others, you’re wasting your journey. Instead, learn to enjoy the journey. Make it a journey of happiness, of constant learning, of continual improvement, of love.
Don’t worry about having a nicer car or house or anything material, or even a better-paying job. None of that matters at all and none of it will make you happier. You’ll get these things and then only want more. Instead, learn to be satisfied with having enough — and then use the time you would have wasted trying to earn money to buy those things … use that time doing things you love.
Find your passion, and pursue it doggedly. Don’t settle for a job that pays the bills. Life is too short to waste on a job you hate.
Love Should Be Your Rule
If there’s a single word you should live your life by, it should be this: Love. It might sound corny, I know … but trust me, there’s no better rule in life.
Some would live by the rule of success. Their lives will be stressful, unhappy and shallow.
Others would live by the rule of selfishness — putting their needs above those of others. They will live lonely lives, and will also be unhappy.
Still others will live by the rule of righteousness — trying to show the right path, and admonishing anyone who doesn’t live by that path. They are concerned with others, but in a negative way, and in the end will only have their own righteousness to live with, and that’s a horrible companion.
Live your life by the rule of love. Love your spouse, your children, me and your dad and your friends, with all of your heart. Give to us what they need, and show us not cruelty or disapproval or coldness or disappointment, but only love. Open your soul to us.
Love not only your loved ones, but your neighbors … your coworkers … strangers … your brothers and sisters in humanity. Offer anyone you meet a smile, a kind word, a kind gesture, a helping hand.
Love not only neighbors and strangers … but your enemy. The person who is cruelest to you, who has been unkind to you … love him. He is a tortured soul, and most in need of your love. I have learned this Jonah just within this past year.
And most of all, love yourself. While others may criticize you, learn not to be so hard on yourself, to think that you’re ugly or dumb or unworthy of love … but to think instead that you are a wonderful human being, worthy of happiness and love … and learn to love yourself for who you are.
These are some things that your grandparents have taught me. I hope and pray that I can give to you half the wisdom they have given to me. When growing you buddy I never really had much. All my friends had much more than I did when it came to worldly things. But I had self love and a true happiness that nothing could ever take from me . In that way I was and am rich. The older I have gotten the more I realize this. All the things my parents kept me from and could not provide all made me this wonderfully happy mother today.
I have been through so many things in the past 8 years . It has not been easy being a single mother with your sister. I want for you to always be around for her and love her no matter what. You are Jasmines family . Do not let anyone or anything change that. She will always need us. I know that maybe asking a lot but that is the one thing I will ask of you . If heaven forbid something happens to me. Make sure your sister is safe and happy. I gave you both life and you both mean the world to me .
Finally, know that I love you and always will. You are starting out on a weird, scary, daunting, but ultimately incredibly wonderful journey, and I will be here for you when I can. Godspeed.
Dear Jasmine,
Jasmine Hello My love, You are my beautiful connection to earth. you have been my everything for so many years . i love you so much. the day you came to me you came on a stormy cloud. i love you so much. i have written to you every night since 2003. the best love letters ever true love letters. I cant post them on my plog but i can post my first letter to your brother. Really , its my 33rd letter to your brother/ which is your ( step daddy's ) favorite number.:-) you have three wonderful new brothers well 2 half and one whole. i lve you more than life itself.
Love always ,
mama koko
Love always ,
mama koko
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
"Because I heart you "
I remember that day in bed when my ear was pressed against his chest; his heart beat was beating loudly in that perfect body of his and his vibrating voice echoed through. I could feel it too. I counted that he had 23 angel kisses on his stomach, tracing them with the tip of my fingers. We talked for a long time in that position, talked about life, music, love, our love, him, me, us, everything.
We noticed that the sun had gone down and decided to grab something to eat. We raided the fridge, eating with our fingers in our underwear standing on the kitchen floor, and sitting on the kitchen counter. He started playing music on the apple .i remember the acoustic guitar, his eyes shut, making that silly face. But suddenly, he stopped, and turned the music down.
He looked up, smiled at me and bent over to kiss me. I giggled. Then he let go of my face to sit closer to me so he could hug me. I asked him why he got so lovey dovey all of a sudden. He replied with another kiss and said because he loves me. I love him too, very much, and I told him that.
We stared into each others' eyes for a long time and I could feel the tears building up behind mine.
‘’You’ve never seen me cry have you?’’ I asked.
‘’No, and I hope that I never will.’’ He replied back with a serious voice.
But he did.
The salty water just came pouring down my face while he, confused, tried to wipe them away with his thumbs and kisses.
‘’Why are you crying?’’ He asked, almost crying himself.
‘’Because I love you.’’ I hated how desperate I sounded.
‘’But why are you crying then?’’
I didn’t know how to tell him. Tell him that he is the only person in the world that makes me feel so happy and sad at the same time, tell him how lost I feel when he’s not around, how jealous I get when I’m with him that I swear I could hurt somebody. Tell him that I’m so in love with him and the love we share, so happy that he is the one I wake up to everyday. Tell him that when he talks my whole body shivers, how when he kisses me I forget to breath sometimes, how I feel like a little girl when he kisses my forehead . I didn’t know how to tell him that I didn’t understand why he loves me. So I simply replied:
‘’Because I love you.’’
We noticed that the sun had gone down and decided to grab something to eat. We raided the fridge, eating with our fingers in our underwear standing on the kitchen floor, and sitting on the kitchen counter. He started playing music on the apple .i remember the acoustic guitar, his eyes shut, making that silly face. But suddenly, he stopped, and turned the music down.
He looked up, smiled at me and bent over to kiss me. I giggled. Then he let go of my face to sit closer to me so he could hug me. I asked him why he got so lovey dovey all of a sudden. He replied with another kiss and said because he loves me. I love him too, very much, and I told him that.
We stared into each others' eyes for a long time and I could feel the tears building up behind mine.
‘’You’ve never seen me cry have you?’’ I asked.
‘’No, and I hope that I never will.’’ He replied back with a serious voice.
But he did.
The salty water just came pouring down my face while he, confused, tried to wipe them away with his thumbs and kisses.
‘’Why are you crying?’’ He asked, almost crying himself.
‘’Because I love you.’’ I hated how desperate I sounded.
‘’But why are you crying then?’’
I didn’t know how to tell him. Tell him that he is the only person in the world that makes me feel so happy and sad at the same time, tell him how lost I feel when he’s not around, how jealous I get when I’m with him that I swear I could hurt somebody. Tell him that I’m so in love with him and the love we share, so happy that he is the one I wake up to everyday. Tell him that when he talks my whole body shivers, how when he kisses me I forget to breath sometimes, how I feel like a little girl when he kisses my forehead . I didn’t know how to tell him that I didn’t understand why he loves me. So I simply replied:
‘’Because I love you.’’
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
The moon & My moonbeams !
The moon. I have always been drawn to it. Connected, in some inexplicable way. A silent kinship. There’s the moon, asking to stay. All my life, I’ve regarded it with a solemn reverence. For the tempestuous storm it brews. The ebb and flow. Love, lust, and longing. Sorrow and anguish. Strength and hope. Brazen resilience. An image of change. Of life itself. Birth and death and rebirth. Continuous in-continuity. Everything amounts to this enormous beauty I know I will never fully be able to grasp. In all this, the moon reflects the heart of life. The kaleidoscope flux of the soul. The moon. It’s a cause for introspection. A mirror of who I have been, and a promise of who I can become.
My little moonbeams are what I call my little ones when I write to them in our journals. I love my little soulshines ! Umph
I am missing big sexy and lil moonbeam tonight. I am in the hospital with the little princess tonight.
Kisses ,
Happy Hippie
My little moonbeams are what I call my little ones when I write to them in our journals. I love my little soulshines ! Umph
I am missing big sexy and lil moonbeam tonight. I am in the hospital with the little princess tonight.
Kisses ,
Happy Hippie
Sunday, May 1, 2011
enjoying the freedom of hassle free hair—humidity and flat irons,weaves,wigs perms be damned
BLack people.White people people people. Some of us are (sadly) so brainwashed. It is ridiculous. It’s a brainwashing from generations, even centuries back. The only reason why any of us think that our natural hair is ugly or crazy is because we have long believed what someone else has told you about ourselves It’s 2011people. Wake up! It’s hard to believe that we dark, black, beautiful people were the first humans on earth. It’s hard to believe that we were born of kings and queens from the most ancient civilization. And still we are the most self-loathing people on the planet.
I applaud Myself and any other black woman who are not afraid or ashamed to embrace her OWN hair. Her OWN texture.
When will we stop being ashamed of who we really are. And for those of you who will say that I am some type of black power fanatic. Call it what you want.I am far from that . Have you seen my family. I say it’s about black knowledge of self. If knowledge is power then, I guess it is black power. Maybe if black people had the right knowledge about ourselves and where we come from, we would have power over our own lives. No one would be able to tell us that you need to “look like them” to be accepted.
When I was a little child, I would put on hoods and scarves and hold them tight making myself look bald. I always thought “too bad girls are supposed to have hair, because I actually look better without it.”
Then at age 24, I went overseas where most school-aged girls were rocking short naturals. I realized then that only in America are girls “supposed” to have hair.
A few years ago the Africa Channel, ran a top model-like show, featuring women from throughout the continent of Africa. When quite a few of the women were “made over” the stylists removed their tattered weaves and gave them baldies instead. The women who received this cut were among the most stunning in the group. The sista who won the competition, was bald and beautiful.
The problem is, that we are so overwhelmed with a non real (wp) standard of beauty that we can’t see ourselves anymore. We don’t know when we look ridiculous in ratty-ass hair weaves or when we are stunning without hair or with natural . We, Black women or for that just WOMEN need to reclaim ourselves on so many levels that its sad.
Funny thing is, in the past I had a picture of myself wearing a wig, posted on FaceBook. I got really positive replies. One person even told me that I looked younger and more vibrant?! Imagine that. Luckily, I know the difference between a tacky-ass wig and vibrant. We have a looooong way to go when the length of a sister’s hair still elicits such a strong response, good or bad. I have always been natural for the most part . No perms and only using hemp dyes. I had dreadlocks from 1998- 2003. Then I shaved my head ... Had a very low cut that was a funky color. 2004-2009 I had dreads again. Love my natural hair. 2010- now have had braids and even a wig .. Go figure.
It's 2011 going baldy scaldy! This was just a decision that I made and decided to post it on facebook like others do . Didn't realize it would get so many replies. I have gotten phone calls and txts from people asking me if I am ok ? My question is are you ok? Umm since when is a haircut linked to a life crisis.
Get it together.
I want to say thank you to my friend Jamie D... She sent me the best txt ever. I just love that girl. Always know what to say and how to say it. Jamie Dunn you ROCK !
more power to me for daring to be free,
Peace out ,
Happy nappy Hippie
I applaud Myself and any other black woman who are not afraid or ashamed to embrace her OWN hair. Her OWN texture.
When will we stop being ashamed of who we really are. And for those of you who will say that I am some type of black power fanatic. Call it what you want.I am far from that . Have you seen my family. I say it’s about black knowledge of self. If knowledge is power then, I guess it is black power. Maybe if black people had the right knowledge about ourselves and where we come from, we would have power over our own lives. No one would be able to tell us that you need to “look like them” to be accepted.
When I was a little child, I would put on hoods and scarves and hold them tight making myself look bald. I always thought “too bad girls are supposed to have hair, because I actually look better without it.”
Then at age 24, I went overseas where most school-aged girls were rocking short naturals. I realized then that only in America are girls “supposed” to have hair.
A few years ago the Africa Channel, ran a top model-like show, featuring women from throughout the continent of Africa. When quite a few of the women were “made over” the stylists removed their tattered weaves and gave them baldies instead. The women who received this cut were among the most stunning in the group. The sista who won the competition, was bald and beautiful.
The problem is, that we are so overwhelmed with a non real (wp) standard of beauty that we can’t see ourselves anymore. We don’t know when we look ridiculous in ratty-ass hair weaves or when we are stunning without hair or with natural . We, Black women or for that just WOMEN need to reclaim ourselves on so many levels that its sad.
Funny thing is, in the past I had a picture of myself wearing a wig, posted on FaceBook. I got really positive replies. One person even told me that I looked younger and more vibrant?! Imagine that. Luckily, I know the difference between a tacky-ass wig and vibrant. We have a looooong way to go when the length of a sister’s hair still elicits such a strong response, good or bad. I have always been natural for the most part . No perms and only using hemp dyes. I had dreadlocks from 1998- 2003. Then I shaved my head ... Had a very low cut that was a funky color. 2004-2009 I had dreads again. Love my natural hair. 2010- now have had braids and even a wig .. Go figure.
It's 2011 going baldy scaldy! This was just a decision that I made and decided to post it on facebook like others do . Didn't realize it would get so many replies. I have gotten phone calls and txts from people asking me if I am ok ? My question is are you ok? Umm since when is a haircut linked to a life crisis.
Get it together.
I want to say thank you to my friend Jamie D... She sent me the best txt ever. I just love that girl. Always know what to say and how to say it. Jamie Dunn you ROCK !
more power to me for daring to be free,
Peace out ,
Happy nappy Hippie
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